Are you interested in changing something? How do you change? What are the steps?
This might sound boring, but it can be life-changing. Working with clients on behavioural change for the last 13 years, I’ve seen some patterns. I’ve put these patterns together to create the Framework for Development.
The first step is making a decision. It has to be firm in order to go any further into development. It can’t be a wish or a hope. Those are fleeting. What is your solid decision?
Step 2 is being consistent in your actions/habits. These are the things that will move you towards progress and success. This is also the hardest part. To make things more manageable, enlist the help of a coach/mentor to guide you and support you. Accountability will help you into the next phase.
With consistent practice of habits and action items, it will result in growth. This phase is also, at times, uncomfortable and painful. Temptations slip in and it’s a struggle. Success isn’t a straight line. You will stumble and fall along the way. This is the time to fall back into consistency.
Once you make it through the growth phase, you move into resiliency. This is the point in time where temptations bounce off of you. You’ve developed solid habits and it’s now a part of your lifestyle. It’s your new identity.
Refinement is what takes you back to the beginning and you choose (decide) another thing you’d like to develop/change.
Here’s a real life example:
Paul decides he wants to quit smoking. Not just hoping he will, but he’s made the decision that this is it and enough is enough.
Instead of just ‘trying really hard’ not to think about it, Paul starts a meditation practice every time he used to smoke. Nothing crazy, but 2-3 minutes to get him through the craving.
He struggles on the weekend because he’s out of his routine and has a smoke on Saturday night. But he wakes up the next day, enlists the help of his spouse, and practices meditation yet again.
It’s been a struggle and painful at times, but after a year, he no longer feels tempted. He is proud to say he is a non-smoker.
Paul decides to take on his Pepsi problem now, and the process starts over again.
So, how are you going to start? What are you going to decide?